Bigpond can kiss my arse, suck my dick and tickle my........

Ok so I find myself once again blogging, and it's all because of the wankers over at Telstra, honest to god I knew Indians lacked people skills but this is all too much, not only to THEY fuck up the billing for the past 6 months of internet, but now they cut off our broadband because of it, not to mention all of the connection issues, honest to god it's like waiting for a man who just had a vasectomy to ejaculate in front of a giraffe (don't ask). I know I said I was going to blog regularly, and no that does not mean every time I take a shit although it would be a way to pass the time.....but i digress I am currently blogging because I have been waiting for Steam to update for roughly an hour now, so I can't play any games at the moment, yes I know some of oyu father figures out there are going "Yannick you suspiciously wrinkley devil, you should go do some study" well I say "fuck that, If I knew what to study I wouldn't because studying is like watching an octopus try to find it's penis" (yes they are over compensating I agree).

Now that I'm all out of rantage I can begin to tell you about my looooooooooooooong penis, I mean weekend, It went something like this - Work, Sleep, Play Computer, Wank, wank, wank, wank, wank (In case you haven't realized I don't have enough energy to do the above activities as I don't get much sleep due to well you know) So yes it was pretty average.....MY WEEKEND!

STAY FRESH, CHEESE BAGS!

Back from Sick-leave (that's right I'm sick of you)

Ok, so this is my first blog in a while, I guess because I have been busy doing things e.g. sets for THE GRASL, another possibility is that I was hoping to get a few "please start blogging again, i'll suck your....." but I digress. Lets begin by recapping on the weeks events, I can just say HOT! No not the kind of "oh my god that is the most crowded image i have ever seen, poor midget is getting squeezed everywhere" type of hot although midgets are very unrepresented in todays society, I guess because no one gives a fuck about height anymore, tall, dark and a fucking douche bag, welcome to Australia!

Ok so I have recent began my 12th year of schooling, do I feel good? Yes, but thats because my right hand is busy jerking off under the table, whilst I study how to write and essay of course this is what they mean by "homework". So school...yes.....I go to school, I go to Rossmoyne Senior High School I probably have already mentioned this in previous blogs but you know what? FUCK IT WELL DO IT LIVE!............... yeah, I don't know what that symbolizes anyway besides and angry mother fucking republican newsreader. Soooooo.....and I say "sooo" to fill this fucking page up. Now that I am about half way through the blog I can begin to recap on current events, I spent the week at school......yeh fun, so anyway school hasn't been very eventful and I can't think of anything worth imprinting on this internet shitstain referred to as a blog.

New Paragraph fucking wonderful, so I recent got a new bike YIPPEE what a great Birthday present, seeing as how I completely butt fucked my other bike due to a kick to .....well the butt. So my new bike is just "FABULOUS" and riding it is like sex with Abe Lincoln, in the sense that he's dead now and my bike is an inanimate object. So as a conclusion to my "essay" (should totally show this to my English teacher) I can say the cultural issues represented in this weeks events, would have to be the way at which Australians love to be seen taking a shit on public transportation.

The "S" word

Ok so i got back from my "holiday", basically an excuse NOT to blog, but I digress so, tonight is the night before Year 12 begins, apparently the hardest fuckin' year of my life.........yeh, we'll see. So anyway I've decided to pull an all nighter tonight to play what is a serious consideration for "YANNICKS PRESTIGIOUS GAME OF THE YEAR" award (no not because of the games sexual content, if I wanted that I could make my own flash game using my old images........well i certainly had enough.) So now that my holidays are over, I honestly don't care, If I'm not getting yelled at by my parents and my boss, It'll be teachers, hard to see what they have to yell about, they basically get paid to sit around and wank, if they didn't have such shit computers, you'd expect them to be playing Call of Duty.

So, today....I mean tomorrow, I mean..........oh fuck it, how can people stand to read this drivel, it's like having a billion pornographic images of the same chick, eventually you want to run her over with a tractor, because everyone who looks at porn lives on farms with UBER fast broadband. So, someshit has happened since my last blog, don't rememeber what it was, quite frankly I don't care. Australia day was fun, spent it at work for double pay, then spent the rest of the day with Deniz, where i lost my "Waffle Virginity", Waffles are so awesome, and i like them the same way I like my women, hot, fresh and covered in cream (actually forget the last bit).

So now I'm just rambling, WOW LIKE I HAVEN'T DONE THAT BEFORE!!!!!!!!!!
Christ I can't say I'm looking forward towards the shitty Yr 12 lawn which overs about as much weather protection as Vin Diesels pubic hair (which I bet is non-existent). Tomorrow going to see some people I haven't seen in a while, is that good or bad? probably bad.......anyway school finishes at 1:30 tomorrow, wow I'M LEARNING ALREADY!

STAY FRESH, CHEESE BAGS!

The misplaced chair

Ok so it HAS actually been a while since my latest post, and i wouldn't be writing this one if people hadn't noticed and by people I mean Nelly. So there has been quite alot of shit happening (not actual shit I haven't been eating that much), so yesterday I got to work an hour early and had BREAKFAST which I found fairly entertaining (well more entertaining than any movie with Vin Diesel in it.) So i got through the day at work and it was average (YAY this is such an interesting post, i can't believe I haven't ripped out my tits yet!) During the day I picked up some new headphones for my computer, they apparently meant to go behind your head (A concept my sister and father couldn't understand).

So I got home from work and decided to go jogging with Tom (Weedon) but we ended up climbing Rossmoyne Senior High School, which was extremely funny since we had to pee (guess where we did it.) so we ended up going INTO the school and pretending like we were in a splinter cell game (NOT A NINJA, WE AREN'T GAY!) so after dicking around and grabbing a drink (odd seeing as we just urinated on the roof), we found a wheelie chair and got it onto the roof of the school and removed the wheels so it wouldn't roll off (HEY AT LEAST WE DIDN'T TAG THE PLACE LIKE SO MANY DICK FAGS WOULD HAVE, luckily none have the climbing ability.) So I went home and slept for like, fuck 9 hours WHAT A WASTE! So I've been testing out my new headphones.

So something serious here, our good friend Nelly is leaving for Singapore tonight, she'll be missed but I hopes she has fun and drinks/eats a shitload of Slurpees (I wonder how many it takes to get diarrhea) but anyway HAVE A SAFE TRIP and have some fucking fun!

STAY FRESH, CHEESE BAGS!

.........

YEAH I KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS, AND I DON'T CARE! I DO NOT READ THE NEWS UNTIL I GET MY DANISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Two days of shit

So let's start with yesterday, yesterday I was supposed to meet a friend in the city, to, i dunno, hang out I guess, which was interrupted by the fact that I had FUCKING WORK so I arrived at work an hour late and had to stay back another hour and was pretty much pissed off the whole day. when I got home I decided I wasn't going to sleep so i pulled an all nighter talking to Callum and doing other shit. I basically sat on my arse for 10 hours talking on msn and playing games (don't call me a loser, it's not as if I spent all night wondering how a turtle would wank.)

Anyway in the morning I agreed to meet yet another friend (amazing I have friends I know, I'm surprised I'm not hanging out with the Bananas in pajamas, but hey those guys probably get alot of action). So I walked to my friends house and waited for an hour, only to get a text saying that she didn't want to hang out, sooooooo I walked all the way back home and watched sesame street (something tells me Law & Order and Sesame street are going to do a cross over show FINALLY WE CAN NAIL THAT DRUG PUSHED BERT!) so anyway i'm not really in a Joking mood now, I'm still pretty tired.

It's a New day.................and i'm still pissed.

Ok so today I went to see movie Sherlock Holmes, so first I had to catch the bus (good ol' 507) so on the way I was sitting down, texting Nelly about the rendezvous point, but when I looked up the two girls infront of me were making out, I swear I didn't believe it, but still it was a million times more believable than any James Bond sex scene. So once I was off the bus I met with Nelly and .co at the "Maccas" where they all drank liquid shit which was cold (frozen COCK), so we sat there for like a goddamned hour waiting for Maryam, so we decided to go to the movies and wait there and stand around in the arcade place like a couple of dick wads (gee now I know why Asian gangs are poor).

So Maryam finally arrived and we watched the movie (THE MOVIE WAS GREAT), and we came out again, where I decided to make Maryams sister more comfortable with me being so "tall" by walking at her height (GEE THAT WAS FUN ON A FUCKING ESCALATOR) and we decided to walk home in one big skirmish line incase a fucking cat armed with a bayonet attached to its pin dick tried anything. So we began to go home, and I followed Nelly because my bus went that way, now I am home. So once home I decided to take a nap (don't ask why) so I woke up, with poor blood circulation and extremely angry and sweaty, so when i sat down and the fan was bugging me, I punched it full force and broke the front. I don't care what you say I WON!

Paint Fumes and Legumes

Ok so today I spent a pleasant day at my mothers house and by pleasant I mean about as fun as trying to make my pubic hair orange (HOORAY FOR MATCHES). So the day began at around 5:30 where I awoke to watch NBC's Dateline (or as I call it the "Who raped/shot/stole from/raped and why? show") so after this enlightening bit of media turd, I had my breakfast (don't ask what because my answer will be your cock sliced like salami with donkey testes as eggs, but thats enough about that.) You may still be wondering why I was at my mothers house, well she had agreed to pay me to paint a small room about 2x2 meters, however i didn't know it would have shelves protruding out of it like it was Eddie Murphies pubic hair, so the job was the most difficult paint job I had encountered, mainly because i spent half the time bent over like Neo from the matrix (minus agent smiths cock in his mouth) so the job was very frustrating and difficult.

Despite all this I still made very slow progress, dripping more white paint than a slightly aroused Vin Diesel (but hey at least I wiped it off) so anyway I finished the job and was covered in paint and sweat I'm not sure which was the bigger turn on or the fact that when i had a shower i found small paint chips in my pubic hair.